Break Up Advice: How To Let Someone Down Gently

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If the person you're dating hasn't respected your feelings -- or worse, has been aggressive or violent -- you have more than enough reason for wanting out. I have a relative with emotional problems, who must always be told things in a special way filled with half truths. But you guys say that texting and stuff is a bad idea. Try to Skype if you're long distance.

But you guys say that texting and stuff is a bad idea. Then, let him ask questions.

Let Him Down Gently: 14 Tips For Breaking Up and Breaking Free

A friend of mine has a go-to strategy for breaking up with someone who's not a bad person, just not the person for her: baked goods. On the day she's calling it quits with a man, she spends hours in the kitchen whipping up the treats he loves the most. First, remember that a nice man who has treated you well deserves and has earned your respect and consideration, which is why you must offer him the courtesy of a face-to-face. No fair taking the coward's way out with e-mail, texts, social media, or even a phone call. You're the one who's going to break his heart or at least wound his ego , so step up and offer him the courtesy and common decency of doing it in person. And do not punk out, as one friend of mine tried to do, by staging the event in a public place to avoid a scene. EXCEPTION: If you have any reason at all to believe he may turn violent, then absolutely stay in a public place. Just as you would want to be somewhere safe and private for the emotional meltdown that can follow an unanticipated dumping, give him the courtesy of dropping the hammer somewhere private and comfortable. It's a cheap trick to break up in a crowd or somewhere like a parking lot as my friend proposed doing , and offers no solace or privacy to the dumpee. Kindly tell him that this is exactly the reason you made this hard decision--because the differences in what you want mean you are constantly hurting someone you care about--and that it's best if you leave now. It's kinder than dragging things out or offering any false hope. In the immediate aftermath, DO NOT call him. DO NOT answer when he calls and have lengthy discussions about the breakup or your relationship or how he's coping. Give your phone to a friend if you must. These rules also apply to texting and email and Facebook posts and tweets and Instagrams and the day you see his profile back up on the online dating site where you met. None of that, now. These types of breakup are the worst. You will feel like dirt. Call a friend afterward and have some wine and calm down, and I promise, within a few days that awful feeling will lessen and you'll begin to feel relieved to have ended a relationship you knew wasn't going anywhere--and to have done it as kindly and respectfully as a nice guy deserves.

We know, between a text as a revolutionary solution to ghosting is not exactly groundbreaking. I know what you mean and EXACTLY how you feel. He is gonna cry, beg, plea, want to know why, and how he can be better…. Grab your cojones and do it face to face. Xi when I had told him that her and I met up and I saw the call log and messages he still tried to deny everything…. Walks me to my classes and texts and calls all the time. I tried making it work it just doesn't.